Does it have to live IN the house?

Garry has said he wanted a spider for a long time. I always said no. NEVER EVER WILL A BIG NASTY SPIDER LIVE IN MY HOUSE! Nope. Not gonna do it. Wouldn't be prudent. In your dreams Mr. Spider Lover. Then it happened. I caved. We now have a big fat hairy spider residing in the dining room. I bought the creature two weeks before Christmas and left it at the pet shop for safe keeping. I went and picked it up Christmas Eve and the pet shop guy was nice enough to put it in the tank for me. As I drove down the rode with Spidey in shotgun, all I could think about was if I was in an accident that THING would get out in the car. I couldn't wait to get home and put tape on the lid...lots of tape. It eats crickets and drinks this "blue goo" stuff that looks like blue jello. Spidey doesn't do much. He kind of just wanders around the tank and hangs out in the hallow log. I guess they can spin a web but he hasn't. That would be kind of neat to watch I guess. I expected it to try to climb the sides of the tank but it doesn't. He goes and sits in the blue goo, catches a cricket or two and just hangs out. He isn't as boring as the hermit crab but close. At least with the crab you don't have to worry about it biting you. I guess if they bite you it is kind of like a bee sting. Some people react to it and some don't. I would. I just know it. So ol' Bev won't be handling the spider. It is supposed to be very docile. That leaves me to wonder what kind of scale they used to gage how "docile" a spider is. If they bite your face off they might be a little agressive...but if they only bite your finger a little they are pretty docile? Who knows. I don't want to find out. I keep getting asked if it creeps me out to have it in the house while I sleep. No. Not really. That is some pretty sturdy tape! I guess this goes to show that I would do just about anything for my man, including living in the same house with a giant bug.

Something new every day....

I learn something new every day. It always amazes me. Here are just a few things I learned today.
1. Don't ever buy cheddar cheese and summer sausage already cut up and prepackaged. It is dry and kind of gross. Do the leg work and cut it up yourself. Lesson learned.
2. Always keep a can of de-icer in your car. I shared mine with my girls at work today. It made me feel good to help them out.
3. Understand that de-icer does NOT mean you don't still have to scrape your windows a little. It helps make it easier but doesn't make it go away like magic. Lesson learned.
4. Go in early for someone even when it can be a hardship for you. It is always worth it in the end. (THEN God puts in your last clients mind to call and reschedule because He knows your feet hurt and you have been there ALL day and you didn't want to work a 12 hr day today. He is cool like that).
5. I knew this already but relearned it today. I love Becky and Jim's kids like they are my own.
6. Lauren is my hero for bringing me hot chocolate.
7. I really like Starbucks hot chocolate. Who knew.
8. I enjoy the girls I work with. They are like my family.
9. I love Garry so much my heart could burst. I have it so good. He is an amazing husband and friend. I thank God for him.
10. I enjoy making people feel good about themselves. It is such a blessing to do what I do.
11. The ducks that hang out in the lake behind the salon are pretty funny to watch when they are walking around on the ice on the lake. Polly and I are pretty obsessed with the happenings of the ducks.
12. My mother can wrap a present like no other person I know.
13. I like my hair short.
14. I would still like to have blue in my hair. *sigh* The pink I put in didn't work.
15. Don't hang your coat on the coat rack. Someone took Jenna's (a girl I work with) coat and left their's by accident. She had her car keys in there. Doh! We called lots of ladies to see if it was them that mistakenly took it but couldn't get in touch with anyone. She had to have her husband drive from Wheatland to give her keys. Poor Jenna.
Lesson Learned.
16. I like having Grace hang out with Deborah and Brian. It is cool for her to get to see her 2 baby cousins and get to know her aunt and uncle.
17. I am still pretty obsessed with the Twilight series. I have OCD....Obsessive Cullen Disorder.
18. I can be really lazy sometimes.
19. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my new camera.
20. God is good all the time, even when I don't want to know it or can't see it. He is. He has plans for me. I have known this for a very long time. It is just kind of scary to say out loud or rather type out loud :) I have to be ok with people thinking I am weird and that shouldn't be so hard...I am. In the most wonderful way. His way.
So, those are just a very few of the things I learned just today. Tomorrow is another day and more knowledge.

Um, Garry. We have a problem.

I locked myself in the car and couldn't get out....well the door was unlocked....but I still couldn't get out. It started out a normal day of errands before I had to head out to work. I went to the post office first. I just had to run in and get a few stamps so instead of dragging my luggage/purse in with me I just left it in the car and locked the door. With the letters and bills mailed I pushed the button on my key toggle to unlock the door. Nothing. Pushed it again. Still nothing. I stood there and pushed and pushed that button but it seems the battery was dead in the remote. Grrr. Oh well, don't be lazy Beverly, just go ahead and use the silly key to unlock it right? WRONG! Oh it unlocked alright. It unlocked the feaverish hatred that I like to call the car alarm. For those of you not lucky enough to witness this alarm first hand you are surely missing out. It sounds like a troup of police cars is coming for you. No regular alarms for me. Oh no sister, I have to have the deluxe model sure to scare the witts out of any intruder. I got in the car and started pushing the door lock buttons to make it stop. I had the door open and nothing I did was working. As soon as I shut the door and pushed the buttons it stopped. PHEW! Finally. I thought I was home free. I put the key in and tried to start it. ERT ERT ERT WHOOO WHOOO WHOOO! Crap :( Not again. I called Garry, "Um we have a problem." "What's that noise?!" he asks. "Well, that would be my alarm and I can't turn it off from outside of the car. The battery is dead in my key toggle. I have to push the lock button from the inside and when I try to get out or start it the alarm goes off again. I'm locked in the car". "You're locked in the car?" "Yes I am locked in the car and I need you to bring me your key toggle to disarm the alarm." *Garry's heavy sigh* "Alright I will be right there." "I love you Garry. Sorry." "Uh huh, be there as soon as I can." The poor man had to drive from Vincennes to Bicknell to bring me his set of keys to unset the alarm. Until then I was trapped in the car. If I opened the door it would set the alarm off and you can't turn it off with the door open. I guess that would keep a theif nice and cozy on the inside of the car while you call the police. Garry pulled up behind me and I hear the door click. I was saved! He just shakes his head and hands over his keys. "Only you." He says. He kissed the top of my head, got back in his truck and away he went. Not many people can say that they locked themselves IN the car. I don't think I will ever have to worry about anyone breaking in my car and if they do my alarm is sure to scare them off. OR annoy them so much that they decide it isn't worth it. Garry is my hero.

Third time is the charm

Ever give God "one of those" talks when He tells you to do something loud and clear and you just don't wanna? "I don't wanna! I Don't Wanna! I DON'T WANNA!" Then you start to barter with Him...do you think He gets a giggle out of that? I do. Ok God. If you really want me to and I mean REALLY REALLY REALLY want me to then "this" will happen. Then "that" happens and you are stuck. Now He is having a pretty good chuckle. Sometimes I even have to be shown twice (or three times). Of course He is patient and shows me again and again if I need it. I usually do. Now I know where Grace gets having to be told things three times before she does it. Grace brush your teeth. Grace have you brushed your teeth? GRACE GO BRUSH YOUR TEETH NOW! Now I know how He feels when he has to tell me a billion times. I think He is a little more patient than me though!

Random facts

I've been tagged so here are the 6 random facts.

1. I have foot in mouth disease and have had since the day I could talk. What pops in my head comes right out.

2. The only time I leave the house without makeup is to take Grace to school in the morning on Monday, Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

3. I was very bendy and flexible the whole time I was pregnant and right after I had her it went away.

4. I dance all the time just not where people can see me do it (except for Grace).

5. I sleep in sox in the winter.

6. I am afraid of camel crickets. I dislike them A LOT!

New name

Our new baby boy doggie has a name! His name is Nat. He is little like a gnat :)

Oh what oh what is that doggies name?

Our new dog still has no name. He may be Puppy Jones forever. Garry like Payton. I like Wickett or Emit and Grace likes Smore. We can't agree on anything! Help :)

Secret Gift for Seth

Grace and I bought Seth a wonderful gift and we can't wait to give it to him on Sunday. I will give you loyal blog readers a few hints....it is something you wear. It's cute so he might hate it. (Since it comes from a little girl that means he will have to wear it or break her little heart.) Here is another clue...she found it at Wal-Mart. Stumped aren't ya! I think it is pretty cool and even cooler that Grace just HAD to get it for him. LOL! So, go ahead fellow bloggers guess away. I know Lauren will love this most and maybe Carol too. If you guess right I will tell you but you have to promise to keep the secret! No general guesses you have to be dead on or I won't tell you and you will have to wait like everyone else :) Muahahaha Muahahaha haaaaaaaa!

First day of school

So today is the first day of school for Grace. She looked so cute this morning! She is getting to be such a big girl. She asked me this morning if 3rd grade will be hard. Of course I tell her no it will be a breeze and I hope that it is for her. I can't wait to pick her up from school and see how her day was. I miss her today. This house seems so quiet without her here. I am not one of those parents that can't wait for school to start to get rid of her. I enjoy her alot and I always look forward to picking her up and hearing all about everything she learned. She reminded me just a few days ago that in 8 yrs she will be driving! Wow. A glimpse into the future.

Surprise!

I have the most amazing husband. I can't even tell you how wonderful he has made this birthday this year. He surprised me with a new Coach purse that I had my eye on. I had no clue he was going to get it for me. It is perfect in every way. He let me spend the WHOLE day on my birthday reading my beloved book with no disturbance or complaint. He cooked me dinner on the grill and spent the night hanging out with Grace so I could read in peace. WAIT! It gets so much better. I came home Saturday night after a long day at work and he had planned a surprise birthday party for me. He invited my friends and family and lots of them came to celebrate with me. It meant a lot to me that he took such pains to plan this for me. Grace kept it a secret for a really long time and never gave so much as a hint of the party. I am usually annoyed by such things as surprise parties and to be honest at first I wasn't at all thrilled by the party. Then I saw how much work everyone put into the party and how Garry's eyes lit up when he saw me come home. Becky brought me my very own Princess cake. 2 layers. No kidding here. It was a very nice surprise.

The book........

It was amazing :)

August 2nd!

So, Saturday is August 2nd and I am so excited I could just pee my pants! It's my birthday and I will be 31, but that is NOT why I am excited. I have been reading a series of books called the Twilight series. Some of you (most of you that would be reading this anyway) know how obsessed I am with those books. I need that 4th book like a crack addict needs his next hit and it comes out on the 2nd.

I am pretty sure I am in love with a fictional character that happens to be a vampire. That is normal right? RIGHT?! I beg people to read the books so they can be crack addicts like me, salivating over the next book just a few days away.

I have warned friends and family that they need not bother with trying to celebrate my birthday. I will be holed up in my bedroom with snacks, drinks and THE book.

The only sad sad thing is that there isn't anywhere closer than Evansville that is releasing the book at midnight Aug 1. Our Vincennes Wal-Mart won't get it until mid day or so. :( I am very very very very bummed about that but I guess I will just have to be patient and wait. Garry would tell you that I don't do the whole being patient thing well.

Yes I do feel a tad silly being so obsessed with fictional characters that happen to be vampires and wolves but I don't care enough not to spend that whole day satisfying that obsession!!!! Come on August 2nd!

Fly Away

Most of you that read my blog know that my Grandma died a few days ago. She had cancer and had fought bravely for some time now. I want to share a happy story about how my Grandma gave me my love of music and singing.

My whole family used to go to a church in Vincennes. When I was around 11-12 my Mom and Dad stopped going as did my cousin Wendy's Mom and Dad. After about a month of this my Grandma drove from Vincennes to Bicknell and announced she would be taking Wendy and I to choir practice with her from now on and we had to sing with her. I was mortified. That is really an understatement. I was so very shy at that time in my life and the LAST thing I ever wanted to do was get up and sing in front of people. Are you kidding me? They might look at me! She insisted and you don't tell Grandma no. So then started my education in reading music and singing. She is the one that discovered I was an alto. She was so patient with me trying to teach me the saprano part up until then lol. I wouldn't be able to get a piece of music and she would encourage me to keep on trying until I got it. I remember the love in her eyes as she would watch Wendy and I practice. She was so proud. Grandma had a ton of grandkids (she had 9 kids) and it was a big deal to be singled out by her. I will never forget just how special she made me feel. I do wish I could muster the courage and strength to sing for her one last time at the funeral like she wanted me to. I love you Grandma. Thank you for giving me my voice with your love.

It's not fair!

It's not fair. The fair is in Bicknell. No really. It's not fair. Trying to explain to an 8 year old why we CAN'T go to the fair every single night is a chore. In the same breath I am trying to also explain to her why it is not ever a good idea to ride anything that has been put together in one after noon. I just don't trust those rides. For as much as it costs to ride those things in one day you can go to Holiday World and at least trust the rides your kid is on.

Don't get me wrong there are things I enjoy at the fair. I like to take Grace to see the animals and she loves it. I also like to see Grace's 4-H project on display. She is so proud and so am I! It warms my heart to see her little projects she has done all by herself.

When she gets big enough she really wants to take a pig to the 4-H fair. Can you imagine my little princess showing a big pig at the fair? Me either! Haley Wampler was telling her she should do it and that she was sure her dad wouldn't mind if she kept it with their pigs. Gee thanks Haley! An animal at the fair means a WHOLE week of living there day and night to take care of the animal. No thanks. Time will tell and I have learned to never say never.

Lesson learned

I learned a very good lesson today. Don't ever send food back at Ponderosa AKA Pondergrossa. Garry, Grace and I went there tonight for supper upon Grace's request. She likes the buffet and is tickled pink with the ice cream cone after we eat. When we got the steaks that Garry and I ordered they still had some moo in them. They had blood pouring out of them and they had a cold center. No lie! I can eat steak almost mooing but this was just plain raw. The center has to at least be warm for goodness sake. I took the steaks up to our waitress and told her the problem. She directed me to the manager who then took the steaks to get them taken care of. We sat to wait for the return of the steaks. A girl brought them out threw them on the table and almost all but ran away. I am still convinced she was in on the destruction of the food. They burnt them to a crisp. Mine especially was two times smaller than when it left us. Again, I am not all that picky and I can handle a very well done steak if I have to. These things got creamated. I got the attention of the waitress and showed her the problem. She got the manager and I could tell by the look on his face that someone was in DEEP trouble. He shook his head and said, "Now I know he did that to just be smart. I know he did that on purpose!" He was ticked at who ever "he" was that is for sure. He kept saying he was sorry and gave us a gift certificate for the price of our food. That would be great if we ever wanted to go there again! We went ahead and tipped the waitress. It wasn't her fault the dude in the back didn't like being told he had to re-do a steak. So the moral of the story is stop giving Pondergrossa one more try. We always say, "Oh let's give it one more try" because I guess many moons ago we went there and it was ok. We must just hold out hope that we could have that happen again but I guess that one time was a fluke of sorts. I should have taken a picture of my sad sad little steak to share with you the awsomeness of the cooks at Pondergrossa. Trust me, this blog can't even begin to describe the actuall experience. So, the upside to the story is that I didn't over-eat at all :) Yay me!

She melts me

Yesterday Garry and I took Grace to Monroe City for his Mom to watch her while we went out to dinner. As we drove down the road I noticed how beautiful the sun was coming through the rain clouds. It was beaming down in streams of light. I told Grace to look and she said she thought it looked like God was coming to earth. I asked her what would happen if God came to earth. She said that all the people that believe in Jesus would go back home with him. She asked me if she would be able to go with him. I told her that God knows what is in her heart and that she didn't have to worry. I told her why people get baptized and told her that there was nothing magic in the water and she didn't have to worry about that right now. She seemed happy with that answer so I was a little surprised when all on her own she went to ask Seth if she could be baptized. I had a hunch that is what she and Tali wanted when they went on the mission looking for him. Grace was so honest and pure in her answers to Seth's questions that I kept tearing up and couldn't help smiling at the same time. She cracked me up when she called the valley between us and God the "sin pit". Lauren got to pray with her and she was so patient and loving.
I will never forget this special moment in Grace's life with such special people whom we both love. It is amazing that Grace gets to share this with her best friend Tali. It is also amazing that I get to share this with my best friend Becky.
As we left the church I gave Grace a hug and told her she was the reason I started coming to church. I felt like I wasn't equipped to answer the big questions and I wanted to raise her knowing the love of God. I wanted her to know the love of a church family and be involved with the community in a positive way. I got all of that and so much more. God is so good.

Stupid people are....stupid.

Garry told me something today that just made me want to slap somebody! He pulled up at the bank behind a little car and while he was waiting his turn he noticed the lady in front of him turn a babies punkin' seat around by the handle so the baby was facing her in the front seat. Did ya catch that? A. The kid is in the front seat (big no no) B. The kid IS NOT buckled in. He saw her turn the seat around to face her with ease. If it was buckled in it wasn't in the right way for her to be able to turn it like that! Stupid people like this make me want to just pull my hair out. I see kids bouncing around in cars all the time obviously not buckled in. It hurts my heart and I always say a little prayer for those kids for God to protect them because He is all they have. I actually saw a woman a while back with a kid in her lap (in the passenger seat) while smoking. Nice. A friend of mine followed a car all over Indy while on the phone with police because of kids bouncing around the back seat. They got pulled over and I say put a star in his crown for a good deed done!

Grandma

My Grandma Madge (Dad's Mom) is now living with my Dad and Mom. She moved in today and my Mom was able to set up hospice for her here in Indiana. She was living in Mt. Carmel IL. with her campanion Jack who just passed away this week from cancer. Grandma has cancer too. She is in a good bit of pain right now and her pain medicine is not working as well as it was. I am really glad she was able to move in with them. It is sad that she has had to leave her home of like 18 or 20 years. Most of the people who has been taking care of her is from the Bicknell, Bruceville, Vincennes area. It will be easier for those people that had to travel that far and with the gas prices that will help too. I am hoping to get to spend some more time with her now that she is closer. The last time I was there she wanted to share with me the story of her prayer shawl. Some of the ladies of the Episcopal church she attends got a chance to meet some important people of the church (she didn't say who) and they had these people bless the shawl for her. It was special to her and makes her feel better when she has it on. Lots of people are praying for her and I am asking you my friends to pray for her to be at peace and pain free until God calls her home.

Turtles

Turtles, turtles everywhere! Since the floods I have seen a blue bazillion turtles here lately. I know that I'm not entirely crazy. Other people have seen them too. I have stopped twice to help a few of the little fella's across the road. Why did the turtle cross the road? He was stappled to the chicken. That one is an inside joke for Becky's Zach :) I love litle turtles and always wanted to have them as pets when I was a kid. I could never keep them alive though. R.I.P. all those brave little guys I captured when we lived in Carlisle out in the country. Grace and Tali will tell you if you see a turtle you have to poke it with a stick first to see if it will bite it. If it doesn't it isn't a snapping turtle. Wise words from the mouths of babes. When in doubt, poke it with a stick.

Yea church camp!

Grace just got back from church camp. She had an amazing time. I missed her while she was gone but I didn't cry this time :) The other two times she has been to camp I bawled like a baby. There are many reason why this time was much easier. Seth, Lauren and Anna happened to be there at this camp and that made it easier. Grace was so excited to go with Tali and that made it easier. I just felt a peace that she was going to be with people that love her and that she loves. I never got the chance to go to church camp when I was a child. I really feel liked I missed out on something really awesome. I don't want Grace to ever look back and feel like I held her back or became a helicopter mom hovering over her all the time. She is getting to be a big girl. She is already excited about next year and I love that she can't wait until she goes for a whole week. The truth is that I won't like it much. I don't like not having her around but no more tears because I know she is having a blast while she is gone. It takes special people to be camp counselors and camp staff (and camp pastors). Maybe some day when Grace is a teen she will get to be a counselor and share God's love with little kids. I can't wait to see what wonderful things she is going to do. Just like they learned at camp this week, she is such a light! Shine on baby Grace.

Story to tell

I helped out a fellow stylist at work today by rinsing a condtioner off her customer (the stylist was running WAY behind). I have talked to this girl a few times when she has been in the salon and I really like her. She is the typical kid that has had a lot of things handed to her, like most teens this day and age are. She gets her hair done regularly and her nails too. She always has designer clothes, shoes and bags. I am not saying there is anything wrong with that by the way, just a little back ground to set the stage for the story I have to tell. As I am rinsing her hair she looks up at me and tells me she feels bad for getting her hair done. I am thinking she is feeling bad for running her stylist behind (she called in a panic begging to get in for a clarifying treatment). She goes on to tell me that she has been on a mission trip to Hondurous(spelling?). She tells me that she feels guilty for coming to get her hair done when there are people out in the world that have nothing. She went on to tell me that she felt so bad for the people that she gave away everything that she brought with her right down to her favorite tennis shoes and her face wash. Any girl knows that a good face wash is worth it's weight in gold! She also told me a story of how people on the street have visible body lice and open sores on their bodies and she still hugged them and showed them God's love. She said she could always replace all of those things in time and it meant so much more to those people. She was so blessed by this trip and I was blessed to get to hear her story and tell her how blessed I thought she was. She seemed to be pleased that I understood what she was trying to convey to me. It wasn't like she was wanting a pat on the back for her giving but just to share the joy she got from doing so. It was an amazing experience for her and I thank God for allowing her to share with me.

Only good news :) See Carol, back to rainbows and kittens

This is just an update on my organized chaos. My foot is a bit better. My ankle isn't the size of a softball anymore. I call that progress! At least I didn't have to go to the Dr. :) Yet.
I went and put my things in my station today. My station. Not to be shared with anyone else! MINE! Sorry, my 5 yr old self slipped out for a second. I can leave my things untouched in my station and not have to worry about anything getting stolen. So nice. I trust the girls I am with so much. We have locks on the stations but I can't imagine wanting or needing to use them. I know that may sound like small taters to some but to me it's big time to be able to trust the ones around me. I am not quick to trust people to begin with. It's just nice.
I can't wait to start at work on Tuesday. My first customers in my new world are three of my biggest supporters and friends. My Mom, my sister Deborah and my best friend Becky. I am so stoked for them to see the new place. I am so stoked for ALL of you blogerotsky to see the new place!
I am still a bit scared about things but I am a happier person. I have 5 12hr days to look forward to this week. I will be so tired but yet still so happy. It is my choice to work those long hrs to get my customers from the previous week in. No one is making me do it. I care so much about my clients that I hated to make them even wait a week to get in. They may never know how important they are to me and not just for the money (although I do enjoy money!). I hope that this new salon will give me a chance to get to know them even better. There won't be so many distractions and I will be able to focus so much better on the client and give them the customer service they deserve.
I also have to give props to my poor husband. Garry has been so patient and loving to me through all of this. I have been an insane crazy person (I know, redundant but I was that bad!)for the past few months leading up to this. Actually this past year I have been snippy with the world but mostly to him. I knew I needed a change and he encouaged me to make it but I wasn't sure enough of myself to do it. I can't imagine how much it has drove him nutty with my constant complaining about work and then doing nothing about it. So, I have finally done something about it and he has hung in there the whole time lifting me up and keeping my eyes focused on the prize. He's a good guy :)
Grace has been practicing answering the phone for when she gets to hang out at the shop with me. She has informed me that when she is 10 she will be old enough to answer the phone there and I will have to pay her $5 a day. Darn those pesky child labor laws! She is excited for me too. She is most excited because I won't have to miss out on any of the special events in her life anymore. That is more precious to me then anything else in this whole deal. I don't have to look into that little face and tell her I can't be at something. I am taking off a Tuesday to pick her up at camp and I just switched those people to Monday instead. I could have never done that before.
You guys are going to get so sick of me gushing about how much I love my job. I just pray that everyone I know can feel this way about their job and love what they do.

At least Grace didn't get that hurt :)

We got new bikes! I wrecked my new bike! I jacked up my ankle! It really sucks! LOL I think we had the bikes for a total of 10 minutes. Ok, maybe 15 minutes. We took the bikes out around a few blocks to ride with Grace. She weaved over and stopped right in front of me. There was no way I could stop. If I would have swerved I would have taken her out big time. So I tried to jump off and push her out of the way of the bike. She ended up with only a skinned knee but, I really thought for a moment that my foot was broken. Garry had to pick me up. It wasn't pretty. I was laying there on the ground trying to get to her and not being able to get up and Garry is yelling at me to just get up lol. I made him take her home and I hobbled two blocks home clutching the bike for support. I made it. My ankle is going to be even more angry in the morning. I hate it because I am off until Tuesday and I really wanted to do some fun stuff with Grace. Not now. I have to be better by Tuesday. I refuse to have it any other way. I will be working 5 twelve hour days that week. Grrr @ accidents. I feel so thankful that Grace only has a skinned knee. All I could think about when I was pushing her towards the grass was that we forgot her helmet! If anything would have happened to her I would have never forgiven myself. She feels so bad about my foot. Poor thing. It really wasn't her fault. I should have been watching closer I guess. Accidents happen. I tried to tell her that but she isn't having any of it. She is so much like me in that way. She feels guilt whether it is her fault or not. I guess my ankle will go right along with the trimmer I have acquired in my left hand, my left pinky actually. It started Tuesday during the day of Hell on earth and for some reason it is still hanging out. I guess that is what happens when you have a mental break down. It must take a few days for the shakes to go away. My poor body! I think I may need to invest in a bubble for myself. You will visit me in my bubble right?

Change

I gave my notice at J.C. Penney's on Tuesday. I wasn't so very surprised that they told me that I wouldn't be allowed to finish out the week there. That wouldn't be so bad if I had somewhere to do my clients for the rest of the week. The new salon won't be done until this coming Tuesday. I am hoping that my customers this week understand that I have no control over this and will change appointment times for next week when I can. I am already booked at my normal times and I am going to have to work day and night (literally) to get everyone in. I don't mind this. I love my clients and I don't want them to be upset.
It was a pretty bad deal and I can't even begin to tell you how mad my salon manager was. I can truely say that at that moment she hated us. Us is the 5 girls that are leaving together. I have never seen that kind of hate on anyone's face before. It was terrifying. I have said I hated this or that and I have even said I have hated a person or two before. The truth is until that very moment I didn't know what hate was. I can tell you that I have NEVER hated anyone or anything ever. I may have been uncomfortable with a situation or not liked someone, but I have never had that searing type of hate that would make it shine through my eyes like that. I hope to never have anyone look at me that way again. I tried to handle the situation in a mature manner and with God's love. I could feel my friends and family lifting me up in prayer that day. I have been prayed for before, but this was different. I could FEEL them praying for me. I felt the strength that God gave me to say the words that where kind when I wanted to lash out and be mean. HE gave me the will and strength to stay for my whole shift till 9 at night when the other girls couldn't take it anymore and left forever. I had so many people ask me how I could take staying there after the things that where said to me and done to me. The only answer that I could give them was prayer. I told them that God gave me the strength and that I couldn't have done it with out him. Even though my boss said some pretty hateful and awful things to me I forgive her. I forgive her with all my heart. I realized how different I am than just a year ago because I think me a year ago woulnd't be ready so soon. I feel bad for her and I still want to extend the hand of friendship if she will ever have it again. I know it won't ever be like it was. I just don't want her to feel like I don't care about her. Sometimes people say things that they think they mean at the time. Later on down the line they regret what they said. I don't want her to live a life of regret. I already forgive her for it. If there was anyway I could have made this easier for her I would have. As it is we did it the hard way. If we would have waited until the day before the shop opened to insure we got to work this week she would have had to scramble to get the schedule taken care of. Actually there wouldn't have been any way. None of us wanted to leave her in a mess. It was going to be a mess for her no matter what, but we wanted to leave as little of a scar as possible on that wound.
I hugged my co-workers that worked with me that night and left that place for the last time. It was hard. Really hard. So much harder than I thought it would be. I was there almost 12 years of my life. I am 30. That is just shy of half my life. WOW. I know. (I say it louder, lol). I have so much ahead of me and it is hard to not look at what I am leaving behind. I am scared. So very scared. If I fale it doesn't just affect me. If I fale my whole family suffers. I have been told that I will never make it, I have to.
The new salon name is Dimensions. It is located in the old Zanders building on Hart street in Vincennes. The number for the shop is 895-0795. My new home away from home. Come by next week and see my new duds. It is going to blow your soxs off how cool it is. Andrea (the owner) has such neat taste in decor. I can't wait for you all to see it!
I have to send a special shout out to Carol who I know is one of my blog stalkers. She came into my little personal hell when I really needed a friend and helped me more than she will ever know. I needed a friendly face and I guess God knew that. She called for an appointment RIGHT after the girl that was there called to cancell. God is good all the time. Thank you Carol. Thank you to Becky too who I called when I got home and rehashed the whole awful day. She is so patient with me. I really don't think she got a word in the whole conversation. Thank you to everyone else who reads this that I know lifted me up in prayer that day. I felt your words and kindness.
I have to add that my boss called me early this morning to tell me she was sorry and that she does wish me the best and I got a chance to tell her that I forgive her. That was really nice to be able to tell her. It would have been enough for me to know that I do. It was a blessing to get to tell her. I hope she knows that I really meant my words and that I wish her well too. Please lift her up in your prayers too. She really will be going through a lot in the next few months. I also feel bad for those left behind at Penney's it is going to be bad for them too. Keep them in mind also.
I am so excited for my new life of wearing flip flops and jeans to work if I want, taking Grace to work with me if I need to, changing my day off if I want, and just having less stress in my life. Thank God for change. (never thought I would ever say that!)

tardy not absent

I have started a blog at least 6 times in the past few days and then ended up deleting them all. So, better late than never. I have been lurking and stalking the rest of you but I just can't put down what's "going down" around my his-ouse (that is a fun word to say) right now. Two weeks or so and I am going to blog a blog to beat all blogs. Until then I may only be a spectator for a while. So, write something fun and interesting to read while I lurk in the shadows. I know I promise rainbows and kittens and you got Murky instead of Rainbow Bright. I guess I am a fibber :) Have a nice week!

Funk

Not the "won't you take me to funky town?" funk. Not the "ew that shoe smells funky" funk. (Or there is something funky on the Taco/Chicken floor kind of funk). Not even "she dresses so funky" funk. Nope none of the above. It's the dreaded "down in the dumps needing a big change" funk. The "you just have to get to know her" funk. The "change is scary" funk. The "my grandmother is dying a slow painful death" funk. The "no sleeping...ever" funk. The "the stupid dog won't stop doing his business in the floor" funk. The "nothing is ever good enough" funk. Sorry loyal blog readers for the ever so funky blog. Promise to be a bit more rainbows and sunshine next time (maybe I'll toss in some kittens too, heaven knows that Thomas has enough of my grand kittens to go around) :) Thanks for reading!

YOU'RE 30?!!

What is so wrong with being 30? I tell people I am 30 and they always say, "Oh you don't look 30", like I am supposed to be flattered. I know they mean well, but really what is so wrong with being 30 and looking 30? I think I look 30 and I don't mind it a bit. This happened to me today where how old I am came up and of course I tell them because I don't care that I am 30. People act like being older is a disease or something. It really makes me laugh. The girl that asked me that acted like she gave me a huge compliment by telling me I don't look it. She actually said, "I made your day now!" Ummm. The only thing you did was make me laugh. I told her, "No not really I don't mind being 30. It is better than being dead." She didn't know what to say to that. She was silent for a long time and then mummbled "I guess that is a good way to look at it". Yea for being 30 and yea for growing up and yea for not being dead lol :)

Thank heaven for little girls.

I wish I was as good with words as some of my fellow bloggers. Trust me, I have a ton of thoughts and ideas swimming around in my noggin. I just don't know how to get em out of the water! Pool check! Everyone out! It doesn't work for me that way. Oh well, here it goes anyway.
With Mother's day right around the corner I have thought a lot about what kind of Mother I am and what kind I would like to be. I love my Grace. She is my light and my life. I thank God for giving her to me even though at the time I was proclaiming to never want any ankle biters. He knows what is best :) I never had this yearning to have a child like a lot of other women. I could hold a baby and be like "yep nice baby" and then give it back unchanged. I wasn't one of those that just HAD to have children or my life would be over. Boy am I glad God knew better! Garry's dad had just died in a house fire and two weeks later we found out I was pregant. It was a surprise. I was pregnant when he died and didn't know it. I was so sick that day and thought it was just my migrains. It was little Grace letting me know she was there! She teaches me something every day. In a lot of ways she is so much like me. I see myself in so many things that she says and does. I think that may be why we clash so often. She is stubborn like me and she always has to get the last word in just like me. She is so much more sensitive than I am though. She wears her heart on her sleeve. In ways that is not such a good thing but in others it is wonderful. She cares so much. I admire that in her :) She is so brave and yet so tender at heart. She stands up to me and I know that is hard to do. I don't mean to be but sometimes I can be scary and let my temper go. Sometimes I am so hard on her and she still loves me no matter what. I hope that when she is older and looks back on her childhood she will feel loved and feel like she had a pretty good time. It is an amazing responsibility to raise a child and make sure they have morals and the love of Christ in their life. I pray that I am doing the right things by Grace and that she grows up a happy and healthy girl with confidence to do what she is called to do in life. I will always be there to pick her up in case she falls (or runs her swing into a tree). I will be there to support her and guide her in whatever she decides to do in life. I love that I have the honor of being that wonderful little angel's Mommy. I truely thank God for her every day.

I am watching you......

I am a blog stalker. Oh yes that is just what I am. I read your blog and maybe leave a comment and then move on to the next blogger I am stalking. This was brought to my attention today when I told one of my stalkies (look mom I made up a new word!) that they had not blogged in a while. "Hmmmm", they said, "neither have you". Here you go, all you blog stalkers or shall I say blokers. The blogerotsy. Now you know I can't spell so stop cringing. I have blogged. I know, this doesn't really count but most everything I would want to blog about needs to stay in my mind for a bit longer to stew before I let it out upon the world. I promise to be a bit more interesting in a few months down the road. At least, I will try to write about something a little deeper than if the dog is house trained :) He isn't by the way. So instead of something with meaning here are some of my other words that are just fun to say: Forgive the spelling please.
Shampoo (no really say it....isn't that just a fun word!)
Tutu
Belly Button
Poofy
Splendiforous
Plethera
Sweet Baby Jesus (Becky and I are NOT allowed to sit by each other when these words are uttered!)
RRRRRRRRRRruffles have RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRridges
Buttocks (said in the Forest Gump voice is super fun!)
Bibbidy Bobbidi Boo
Plum
Fizzy
Fuzzy
Super
The English language is kind of goofy but at least it's fun! I suppose that is enough rambling. Feel free to post your own very fun words. Not too fun mind you! This here is a family show. LOL

General thoughts of the day

I will be so glad when school is over. It's not the teacher. She is wonderful. I had her when I was in school. That is kind of cool for Grace to have some of the same teachers that I had. It must make them feel old. Sorry teachers! Anyway, back to wanting school to be out. I am just ready for no homework and more freedom. No wailing about having to do homework would be grand too. During the school year Grace is involved in so much and so am I. I need to learn how to let Grace be involved in things and be able to just drop her off and pick her up. I have never been able to be that Mom. I am getting a bit better about it though. A few times I have taken her to dance and went to Zanders to wait for the class to be over. I have taken her to tumbling and went to Wal-Mart too. I am just looking forward to this summer. I want to get a bike and go bike riding with Grace and maybe Garry can get one too. I want to spend more time with friends and family too. Kind of late in the year to be proclaiming resolutions but, hey, better late than never. In a few months a lot of things will be different. Different isn't always bad.

Happy

If you're happy and you know clap your hands. I'm pretty happy. I want to clap my hands, stomp my feet and praise the Lord! I am finally learning to be somewhat patient and learning to listen to that little inner tug that tells me what to do if I ask in the right way. I am so lucky to have a supportive husband. No matter what crazyness I create for myself he is always there to help raise me up or catch me when I fall. He listens to me rant about things I know I could change and too chicken to do so. He listens and he listens. That man is so patient with me. I can be pretty annoying sometimes. I know this. If you are one of my friends and reading this you know this too. I am also very lucky to have the supportive friends that I have that even though I know must get sick of my constant second guessing of myself and things I want (NEED) to do. Yet, they are always supportive and encouraging too. Then there is my Grace. I make a lot of mistakes as a parent and she is always ready and willing to forgive me. She is a good kid. All in all I am a pretty happy girl and fixing to get a whole lot happier!

Dance party fever

I forgot how much I love to dance. I mean really dance, like throw your old back out and hurt your knee dance. Do you remember coming home from school dances and the next morning your whole body would ache because you danced so much. Yes, I miss that. If you hurt really bad it meant you had tons of fun at the dance the night before. Grace had her Hannah Montana dance party and the girls had a blast just like that. I bought platic medallions on a ribbon and we had ourselves a dance competition. I sent half of the girls into the youth room of the church and the other half stayed in the hall. I turned on the song that they would make up the moves to and let them have at it. Once the song was over each group got to show off the moves they made up. Yes, kind and gentle reader that does mean that I "got" to listen to the same song three times over. It was so worth it to see the girls have so much fun. We did two songs and each group won once. They loved it so much that they wanted to do it again. They split into different teams and then danced to do two different songs. Again, some how they managed to each win one more time :) Listening to 4 Hannah Montana songs 3 times each takes one and a half hours in case you are wondering. I must say that I had a bit of a headache when it was all over but it was so worth it. A few times I got out there with the girls and busted a move. It was fun. No other adults there, just me and a bunch of 7 and 8 year olds that didn't care how silly I looked dancing with them. Wouldn't you have loved to be a fly on the wall that day? I didn't get to play "Pin the Kiss on Troy" but they loved that game and giggled the whole time they played. Sylvia rocked the house and won on that game. She got him right on the kisser. That kid has got some aim! She told me as her team waited their turn to dance that Grace has the best birthday parties ever. I know it is silly but that meant so much to me that they had a good time. I hope Grace will remember the parties and sleepovers and have fond memories.

We had a family party at Zanders the next day and got to see almost all of the cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents. It was a good time too. We had Zanders icecream cake....need I say more? I have had people tell me that I go overboard for her birthday and I probably always will. I love to celebrate the day that God gave me the joy of my life in a big way. She is such a special girl and I love her so very much. Plus, I really wanted the trampoline too.....lol :)

It can always be worse

There is always someone who has it worse than you. Always. I try to remember that when I have something not so great going on in my life. It can always be worse. Right? Right? Please tell me yes :(

On a much happier note, Grace turned 8 today. My baby is 8! She is such a light in my little dark patch I have going on right now. Her excitement over her birthday brings such joy to my life. She got to have cupcakes at school today for the first time. She has always been on spring break during her birthday. She was so stoked about it. It was so fun to see her feel so special when her friends all sang happy birthday to her. She wanted to go to Ponderosa (even though I really don't like it) for her birthday dinner. Of course we went. I let her pick whatever she wanted to eat or drink. She wanted a Pepsi of course. Those of you who know my Grace know that a Pepsi is a great treat for her and not such a treat for Garry and I! She gets wild on the crazy kid crack and gets mouthy. But, hey, it's her birthday right? She was super de duper crazy! LOL. One celebration down and 2 more to go. The Hannah Montana dance party with friends is Saturday and the family party is a Zanders on Sunday. We party down when it comes to our baby girls birthday. I thank God for having the wisdom to give me my angel.

This funny little faced dog is Ozzy. He is our new fur-baby. I do mean it about being a baby too! It is like having a newborn in the house. I don't mind all of the attention he needs. I just hope he is house trained soon! Maybe I should try diapers on him like a baby..lol. He would just eat them. He likes to chew everything. He has the attention span of a knat. No really, no kidding. Every minute or two he will realize you are in the room and give you a greeting like you have been gone all day. He will go back to what he was doing for a few minutes and the process starts all over again. Layla is much better now that we have him. She is eating again and wants to play some. :) It is kind of hard to train a pup in the winter. I am hoping this cold weather will be done very soon!

Hello self

Ever keep getting the same message over and over again and just try to ignore it? I keep thinking, not right now or maybe later. Next year perhaps? Anyone who knows me well knows any kind of change has a way of making me skiddish (spelling?) at first. Now I know why Grace has to be told to do things three times. Yes exactly three times. You tell her twice it is so not getting done. I always wondered where she got that from. Guess now it is staring me right in the face. Hello self, meet yourself. Nice to meet you. I just got told something for the third time (each time from a differnt source in a different way).....let's see what I do with it. Confused? Me too. :)

Ask and thy shall recieve

Some of you may know that there are some little girls of the church that are interested in doing a dance for the church like Grace and Tali do sometimes. I have been racking my brain for what song to do. Three times I have had "the perfect song". Three times I have been told NOPE NOT THE ONE! Sometimes you just know when something isn't right even though it is what you may want. (Not about what I want right? *sigh*). I finally asked for help. Seth sat with me in his office, MP3 player in hand and let me go through song after song to find the "right one". Did I mention how patient this man is? I am soooooooo picky when it comes to the song. It has to have the right eight count and it also has to be very distcriptive. You have to be able to listen to the song and get the message right away. Can't make the dear audience have to think too hard about it or they spend too much time trying to figure out the song and not enough watching the dance. Being descriptive also helps to make up the dance. I know it is strange but it makes total sense in my head. Seth helped me find the song "Here I am Lord" by the Micah Tawlk Band. I listened to it for a few days anytime I was in the car to get the feel of it. Tonight I sat down to map out the dance for the girls and it took me little to no time at all. It was really a blessing. Sure, things will get changed a bit. I like to have Becky put her two cents in and tweek what she thinks may need to be tweeked. Sometimes it even gets changed on the fly as the girls are learning if something just isn't working out. Not only was the right song sent my way but I learned a valuable lesson, it is ok to ask for help. Sometimes I have to learn a lesson more than once. We will see if this one sticks. :) I can't wait for you all to see the little ones dance their little hearts out for Jesus in all of their pink tutu glory!

It finally happened.....

I mentioned in my last post that Grace is getting glases. I really suspected she needed them a year ago when she was getting the headaches. I took her to get her eyes checked and the guy told me she was borderline and that he didn't see the need to give her glasses at that point. I thought that was a little strange because I really thought she needed them. She sits so close to the computer and just squints a lot. But, an eye Dr. I am not so I went with what the professional said. Yesterday I took Grace to the eye Dr. here in Bicknell (not the same one she had been to before, my insurance changed and I don't HAVE to go there anymore). He came out and told me that he doesn't take this kind of thing lightly and I got kind of freaked out, then he preceeded to tell me that Grace is almost legally blind. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Poor baby! She can't see a thing that is far away. He let her look out the window with some sort of glasses he was checking her eyes with and she was so excited because everything wasn't so small anymore. I knew something was wrong and I should have went somewhere else, insurance or no insurance, and had her checked again. Hind sight is 20/20 I guess. No pun intended. LOL. She was excited at first to get glasses and now she is thinking it might not be that cool to have to wear glasses all the time. She picked out some super sheek black plastic ones with pink on the inside. Tali helped her pick them out which I think was kind of special for both of them. She also helped her pick out the glasses case. It is teal of course! So in a few weeks my little princess won't be as blind as a bat anymore.

Rest in peace little buddy Fez

I am so very sad. Sad really doesn't cover it. Fez died in my arms tonight. He was feeling a little under the weather today and to tell you the truth I didn't think much of it because he still ate his treat and went outside to play for a bit. I left at 3 to go get Grace from school and he was in his house acting a little ick but nothing to indicate he was dying. By the time I got home from taking Grace to dance class (around 7ish) he was in a bad way. He was vomiting blood and not able to hold his bladder. I called all of the vets in the book and couldn't get anyone to answer. He was fading really fast. I decided the best thing to do was just hold him and make him comfortable until he died. I could tell he was about to go so I took him outside because that was his favorite place to be. As I sat on the ground holding him Layla came to him and put her nose to his. He opened his eyes and whined some. Layla turned and walked away and he closed his little eyes and died. I just about lost my mind. I know I have talked about how dumb he was, and he was. But, he was my dog. He was dumb and annoying, most of the time he was a waste of a good dog and I loved him. Every ounce of the sweet dumb dog. Layla is so sad. Fez was her friend and constant companion. I swear to you that she cried real doggy tears. She is one depressd little lady. The pain that Grace is feeling is out of this world. She just cried and cried. Her heart is broken. Today has NOT been a good day for her. She just found out she is getting glasses and then her dog dies. Nice. When I could really tell that he was dying I let her say good bye to him. I think it will help her in the long run. I will never be able to thank Jim enough for coming over so late at night and helping Garry bury Fez. It meant so much to us. Who else would come over and help you dig a hole (getting all muddy) after he has worked all day and JUST got home? He is a good man. Thanks Jim. I know we can get another dog and we probably will, but no other dog will replace Fez in ANY of our hearts. I will miss that sweet little face, so happy to see me no matter if I was gone for 10 hours or 10 minutes. Bye little buddy.

Wii chew! and the outside world

We have the Wii sickness. ALL of us! Even me! I find myself thinking about it when I am at work. Is that wrong? I just might be in love with Mario. Don't tell Garry. It really is alot of fun though. Grace is the most addicted. She gets her pout on when she can't be on the Wii every extra moment of the day. I don't mind it much while it is too cold to go outside. I'm hoping it won't be a fight to get her outside to play. On that note.....do you remember when we were little and not "allowed" to come in the house during the day except to pee or beg for snacks? I know I am not the only kid that was made to stay outside in the summer. I can still hear my mother telling us for the billionth times to STOP RUNNING IN AND OUT. She would have to lock the door to keep us from letting every bug in the world into our house. Poor mom. I didn't like to listen much then either. I guess some things never change. At the risk of sounding my age, we didn't have all the hand held video games (not as much anyway) and other distractions to keep us busy. Sometimes I worry that our kids are going to forget how to play. Then, the next thing I know Grace is in her room playing with her dolls. She has a good imagination. Reminds me of how I was when I was little she day dreams a lot like I did. I am really going to try to get outside more this summer with her. I figured if I put it in the blog I can sort of hold myself accountable. We shall see....if I don't get sucked into the world of Wii.

I named her right!

Poor poor Grace. She is hurt. Once again. I am really thinking about putting her in a bubble. She has managed to hurt her neck now. It is all swollen and it hurts her. I am giving her until Monday with medicine and ice/heat. If the swelling has not gone down she is so going to the Dr. AGAIN!!!!! I hope this doesn't mean she won't be able to tumble anymore. She will be so sad. I would rather her be sad than hurt though. I care way more about her not being hurt. We will also have to think long and hard about the trampoline she wants for her birthday. *sigh* On a positive note she hasn't thrown up yet this week. Hooray for no vomit!

My heart

I have often wondered what I did with my life before I had Grace. I must have watched a ton of T.V.! When I held that tiny baby in my arms for the first time I thought my heart might just burst from the happiness. I remembered that joy anew today. I got the chance to hang out with my little sister today for a bit. She has two babies. One is 17 months old and the other is 5 months old. The older one was asleep when I got there to pick my sister up so I didn't get the chance to see him. I was kind of sad because I hadn't seen either of them for a long time. I walked up to Jolie and took her from my mom and she gave me the biggest smile you can imagine. It was really the first time I had seen her smile and laugh and know she was doing it and not just passing a gas bubble :) It almost made me cry. She made me remember my little baby Grace when she was that small. She looks just like Grace when she was little. We don't have babies we have clones according to my Mom. Holding Jolie also made me realize that no matter how old Grace gets she will always be my little baby. Think she will still want to snuggle with Mom on the couch when she is 20? I hope so.