Change

I gave my notice at J.C. Penney's on Tuesday. I wasn't so very surprised that they told me that I wouldn't be allowed to finish out the week there. That wouldn't be so bad if I had somewhere to do my clients for the rest of the week. The new salon won't be done until this coming Tuesday. I am hoping that my customers this week understand that I have no control over this and will change appointment times for next week when I can. I am already booked at my normal times and I am going to have to work day and night (literally) to get everyone in. I don't mind this. I love my clients and I don't want them to be upset.
It was a pretty bad deal and I can't even begin to tell you how mad my salon manager was. I can truely say that at that moment she hated us. Us is the 5 girls that are leaving together. I have never seen that kind of hate on anyone's face before. It was terrifying. I have said I hated this or that and I have even said I have hated a person or two before. The truth is until that very moment I didn't know what hate was. I can tell you that I have NEVER hated anyone or anything ever. I may have been uncomfortable with a situation or not liked someone, but I have never had that searing type of hate that would make it shine through my eyes like that. I hope to never have anyone look at me that way again. I tried to handle the situation in a mature manner and with God's love. I could feel my friends and family lifting me up in prayer that day. I have been prayed for before, but this was different. I could FEEL them praying for me. I felt the strength that God gave me to say the words that where kind when I wanted to lash out and be mean. HE gave me the will and strength to stay for my whole shift till 9 at night when the other girls couldn't take it anymore and left forever. I had so many people ask me how I could take staying there after the things that where said to me and done to me. The only answer that I could give them was prayer. I told them that God gave me the strength and that I couldn't have done it with out him. Even though my boss said some pretty hateful and awful things to me I forgive her. I forgive her with all my heart. I realized how different I am than just a year ago because I think me a year ago woulnd't be ready so soon. I feel bad for her and I still want to extend the hand of friendship if she will ever have it again. I know it won't ever be like it was. I just don't want her to feel like I don't care about her. Sometimes people say things that they think they mean at the time. Later on down the line they regret what they said. I don't want her to live a life of regret. I already forgive her for it. If there was anyway I could have made this easier for her I would have. As it is we did it the hard way. If we would have waited until the day before the shop opened to insure we got to work this week she would have had to scramble to get the schedule taken care of. Actually there wouldn't have been any way. None of us wanted to leave her in a mess. It was going to be a mess for her no matter what, but we wanted to leave as little of a scar as possible on that wound.
I hugged my co-workers that worked with me that night and left that place for the last time. It was hard. Really hard. So much harder than I thought it would be. I was there almost 12 years of my life. I am 30. That is just shy of half my life. WOW. I know. (I say it louder, lol). I have so much ahead of me and it is hard to not look at what I am leaving behind. I am scared. So very scared. If I fale it doesn't just affect me. If I fale my whole family suffers. I have been told that I will never make it, I have to.
The new salon name is Dimensions. It is located in the old Zanders building on Hart street in Vincennes. The number for the shop is 895-0795. My new home away from home. Come by next week and see my new duds. It is going to blow your soxs off how cool it is. Andrea (the owner) has such neat taste in decor. I can't wait for you all to see it!
I have to send a special shout out to Carol who I know is one of my blog stalkers. She came into my little personal hell when I really needed a friend and helped me more than she will ever know. I needed a friendly face and I guess God knew that. She called for an appointment RIGHT after the girl that was there called to cancell. God is good all the time. Thank you Carol. Thank you to Becky too who I called when I got home and rehashed the whole awful day. She is so patient with me. I really don't think she got a word in the whole conversation. Thank you to everyone else who reads this that I know lifted me up in prayer that day. I felt your words and kindness.
I have to add that my boss called me early this morning to tell me she was sorry and that she does wish me the best and I got a chance to tell her that I forgive her. That was really nice to be able to tell her. It would have been enough for me to know that I do. It was a blessing to get to tell her. I hope she knows that I really meant my words and that I wish her well too. Please lift her up in your prayers too. She really will be going through a lot in the next few months. I also feel bad for those left behind at Penney's it is going to be bad for them too. Keep them in mind also.
I am so excited for my new life of wearing flip flops and jeans to work if I want, taking Grace to work with me if I need to, changing my day off if I want, and just having less stress in my life. Thank God for change. (never thought I would ever say that!)

Funk

Not the "won't you take me to funky town?" funk. Not the "ew that shoe smells funky" funk. (Or there is something funky on the Taco/Chicken floor kind of funk). Not even "she dresses so funky" funk. Nope none of the above. It's the dreaded "down in the dumps needing a big change" funk. The "you just have to get to know her" funk. The "change is scary" funk. The "my grandmother is dying a slow painful death" funk. The "no sleeping...ever" funk. The "the stupid dog won't stop doing his business in the floor" funk. The "nothing is ever good enough" funk. Sorry loyal blog readers for the ever so funky blog. Promise to be a bit more rainbows and sunshine next time (maybe I'll toss in some kittens too, heaven knows that Thomas has enough of my grand kittens to go around) :) Thanks for reading!

General thoughts of the day

I will be so glad when school is over. It's not the teacher. She is wonderful. I had her when I was in school. That is kind of cool for Grace to have some of the same teachers that I had. It must make them feel old. Sorry teachers! Anyway, back to wanting school to be out. I am just ready for no homework and more freedom. No wailing about having to do homework would be grand too. During the school year Grace is involved in so much and so am I. I need to learn how to let Grace be involved in things and be able to just drop her off and pick her up. I have never been able to be that Mom. I am getting a bit better about it though. A few times I have taken her to dance and went to Zanders to wait for the class to be over. I have taken her to tumbling and went to Wal-Mart too. I am just looking forward to this summer. I want to get a bike and go bike riding with Grace and maybe Garry can get one too. I want to spend more time with friends and family too. Kind of late in the year to be proclaiming resolutions but, hey, better late than never. In a few months a lot of things will be different. Different isn't always bad.