She melts me

Yesterday Garry and I took Grace to Monroe City for his Mom to watch her while we went out to dinner. As we drove down the road I noticed how beautiful the sun was coming through the rain clouds. It was beaming down in streams of light. I told Grace to look and she said she thought it looked like God was coming to earth. I asked her what would happen if God came to earth. She said that all the people that believe in Jesus would go back home with him. She asked me if she would be able to go with him. I told her that God knows what is in her heart and that she didn't have to worry. I told her why people get baptized and told her that there was nothing magic in the water and she didn't have to worry about that right now. She seemed happy with that answer so I was a little surprised when all on her own she went to ask Seth if she could be baptized. I had a hunch that is what she and Tali wanted when they went on the mission looking for him. Grace was so honest and pure in her answers to Seth's questions that I kept tearing up and couldn't help smiling at the same time. She cracked me up when she called the valley between us and God the "sin pit". Lauren got to pray with her and she was so patient and loving.
I will never forget this special moment in Grace's life with such special people whom we both love. It is amazing that Grace gets to share this with her best friend Tali. It is also amazing that I get to share this with my best friend Becky.
As we left the church I gave Grace a hug and told her she was the reason I started coming to church. I felt like I wasn't equipped to answer the big questions and I wanted to raise her knowing the love of God. I wanted her to know the love of a church family and be involved with the community in a positive way. I got all of that and so much more. God is so good.

Stupid people are....stupid.

Garry told me something today that just made me want to slap somebody! He pulled up at the bank behind a little car and while he was waiting his turn he noticed the lady in front of him turn a babies punkin' seat around by the handle so the baby was facing her in the front seat. Did ya catch that? A. The kid is in the front seat (big no no) B. The kid IS NOT buckled in. He saw her turn the seat around to face her with ease. If it was buckled in it wasn't in the right way for her to be able to turn it like that! Stupid people like this make me want to just pull my hair out. I see kids bouncing around in cars all the time obviously not buckled in. It hurts my heart and I always say a little prayer for those kids for God to protect them because He is all they have. I actually saw a woman a while back with a kid in her lap (in the passenger seat) while smoking. Nice. A friend of mine followed a car all over Indy while on the phone with police because of kids bouncing around the back seat. They got pulled over and I say put a star in his crown for a good deed done!

Grandma

My Grandma Madge (Dad's Mom) is now living with my Dad and Mom. She moved in today and my Mom was able to set up hospice for her here in Indiana. She was living in Mt. Carmel IL. with her campanion Jack who just passed away this week from cancer. Grandma has cancer too. She is in a good bit of pain right now and her pain medicine is not working as well as it was. I am really glad she was able to move in with them. It is sad that she has had to leave her home of like 18 or 20 years. Most of the people who has been taking care of her is from the Bicknell, Bruceville, Vincennes area. It will be easier for those people that had to travel that far and with the gas prices that will help too. I am hoping to get to spend some more time with her now that she is closer. The last time I was there she wanted to share with me the story of her prayer shawl. Some of the ladies of the Episcopal church she attends got a chance to meet some important people of the church (she didn't say who) and they had these people bless the shawl for her. It was special to her and makes her feel better when she has it on. Lots of people are praying for her and I am asking you my friends to pray for her to be at peace and pain free until God calls her home.

Turtles

Turtles, turtles everywhere! Since the floods I have seen a blue bazillion turtles here lately. I know that I'm not entirely crazy. Other people have seen them too. I have stopped twice to help a few of the little fella's across the road. Why did the turtle cross the road? He was stappled to the chicken. That one is an inside joke for Becky's Zach :) I love litle turtles and always wanted to have them as pets when I was a kid. I could never keep them alive though. R.I.P. all those brave little guys I captured when we lived in Carlisle out in the country. Grace and Tali will tell you if you see a turtle you have to poke it with a stick first to see if it will bite it. If it doesn't it isn't a snapping turtle. Wise words from the mouths of babes. When in doubt, poke it with a stick.

Yea church camp!

Grace just got back from church camp. She had an amazing time. I missed her while she was gone but I didn't cry this time :) The other two times she has been to camp I bawled like a baby. There are many reason why this time was much easier. Seth, Lauren and Anna happened to be there at this camp and that made it easier. Grace was so excited to go with Tali and that made it easier. I just felt a peace that she was going to be with people that love her and that she loves. I never got the chance to go to church camp when I was a child. I really feel liked I missed out on something really awesome. I don't want Grace to ever look back and feel like I held her back or became a helicopter mom hovering over her all the time. She is getting to be a big girl. She is already excited about next year and I love that she can't wait until she goes for a whole week. The truth is that I won't like it much. I don't like not having her around but no more tears because I know she is having a blast while she is gone. It takes special people to be camp counselors and camp staff (and camp pastors). Maybe some day when Grace is a teen she will get to be a counselor and share God's love with little kids. I can't wait to see what wonderful things she is going to do. Just like they learned at camp this week, she is such a light! Shine on baby Grace.

Story to tell

I helped out a fellow stylist at work today by rinsing a condtioner off her customer (the stylist was running WAY behind). I have talked to this girl a few times when she has been in the salon and I really like her. She is the typical kid that has had a lot of things handed to her, like most teens this day and age are. She gets her hair done regularly and her nails too. She always has designer clothes, shoes and bags. I am not saying there is anything wrong with that by the way, just a little back ground to set the stage for the story I have to tell. As I am rinsing her hair she looks up at me and tells me she feels bad for getting her hair done. I am thinking she is feeling bad for running her stylist behind (she called in a panic begging to get in for a clarifying treatment). She goes on to tell me that she has been on a mission trip to Hondurous(spelling?). She tells me that she feels guilty for coming to get her hair done when there are people out in the world that have nothing. She went on to tell me that she felt so bad for the people that she gave away everything that she brought with her right down to her favorite tennis shoes and her face wash. Any girl knows that a good face wash is worth it's weight in gold! She also told me a story of how people on the street have visible body lice and open sores on their bodies and she still hugged them and showed them God's love. She said she could always replace all of those things in time and it meant so much more to those people. She was so blessed by this trip and I was blessed to get to hear her story and tell her how blessed I thought she was. She seemed to be pleased that I understood what she was trying to convey to me. It wasn't like she was wanting a pat on the back for her giving but just to share the joy she got from doing so. It was an amazing experience for her and I thank God for allowing her to share with me.

Only good news :) See Carol, back to rainbows and kittens

This is just an update on my organized chaos. My foot is a bit better. My ankle isn't the size of a softball anymore. I call that progress! At least I didn't have to go to the Dr. :) Yet.
I went and put my things in my station today. My station. Not to be shared with anyone else! MINE! Sorry, my 5 yr old self slipped out for a second. I can leave my things untouched in my station and not have to worry about anything getting stolen. So nice. I trust the girls I am with so much. We have locks on the stations but I can't imagine wanting or needing to use them. I know that may sound like small taters to some but to me it's big time to be able to trust the ones around me. I am not quick to trust people to begin with. It's just nice.
I can't wait to start at work on Tuesday. My first customers in my new world are three of my biggest supporters and friends. My Mom, my sister Deborah and my best friend Becky. I am so stoked for them to see the new place. I am so stoked for ALL of you blogerotsky to see the new place!
I am still a bit scared about things but I am a happier person. I have 5 12hr days to look forward to this week. I will be so tired but yet still so happy. It is my choice to work those long hrs to get my customers from the previous week in. No one is making me do it. I care so much about my clients that I hated to make them even wait a week to get in. They may never know how important they are to me and not just for the money (although I do enjoy money!). I hope that this new salon will give me a chance to get to know them even better. There won't be so many distractions and I will be able to focus so much better on the client and give them the customer service they deserve.
I also have to give props to my poor husband. Garry has been so patient and loving to me through all of this. I have been an insane crazy person (I know, redundant but I was that bad!)for the past few months leading up to this. Actually this past year I have been snippy with the world but mostly to him. I knew I needed a change and he encouaged me to make it but I wasn't sure enough of myself to do it. I can't imagine how much it has drove him nutty with my constant complaining about work and then doing nothing about it. So, I have finally done something about it and he has hung in there the whole time lifting me up and keeping my eyes focused on the prize. He's a good guy :)
Grace has been practicing answering the phone for when she gets to hang out at the shop with me. She has informed me that when she is 10 she will be old enough to answer the phone there and I will have to pay her $5 a day. Darn those pesky child labor laws! She is excited for me too. She is most excited because I won't have to miss out on any of the special events in her life anymore. That is more precious to me then anything else in this whole deal. I don't have to look into that little face and tell her I can't be at something. I am taking off a Tuesday to pick her up at camp and I just switched those people to Monday instead. I could have never done that before.
You guys are going to get so sick of me gushing about how much I love my job. I just pray that everyone I know can feel this way about their job and love what they do.

At least Grace didn't get that hurt :)

We got new bikes! I wrecked my new bike! I jacked up my ankle! It really sucks! LOL I think we had the bikes for a total of 10 minutes. Ok, maybe 15 minutes. We took the bikes out around a few blocks to ride with Grace. She weaved over and stopped right in front of me. There was no way I could stop. If I would have swerved I would have taken her out big time. So I tried to jump off and push her out of the way of the bike. She ended up with only a skinned knee but, I really thought for a moment that my foot was broken. Garry had to pick me up. It wasn't pretty. I was laying there on the ground trying to get to her and not being able to get up and Garry is yelling at me to just get up lol. I made him take her home and I hobbled two blocks home clutching the bike for support. I made it. My ankle is going to be even more angry in the morning. I hate it because I am off until Tuesday and I really wanted to do some fun stuff with Grace. Not now. I have to be better by Tuesday. I refuse to have it any other way. I will be working 5 twelve hour days that week. Grrr @ accidents. I feel so thankful that Grace only has a skinned knee. All I could think about when I was pushing her towards the grass was that we forgot her helmet! If anything would have happened to her I would have never forgiven myself. She feels so bad about my foot. Poor thing. It really wasn't her fault. I should have been watching closer I guess. Accidents happen. I tried to tell her that but she isn't having any of it. She is so much like me in that way. She feels guilt whether it is her fault or not. I guess my ankle will go right along with the trimmer I have acquired in my left hand, my left pinky actually. It started Tuesday during the day of Hell on earth and for some reason it is still hanging out. I guess that is what happens when you have a mental break down. It must take a few days for the shakes to go away. My poor body! I think I may need to invest in a bubble for myself. You will visit me in my bubble right?

Change

I gave my notice at J.C. Penney's on Tuesday. I wasn't so very surprised that they told me that I wouldn't be allowed to finish out the week there. That wouldn't be so bad if I had somewhere to do my clients for the rest of the week. The new salon won't be done until this coming Tuesday. I am hoping that my customers this week understand that I have no control over this and will change appointment times for next week when I can. I am already booked at my normal times and I am going to have to work day and night (literally) to get everyone in. I don't mind this. I love my clients and I don't want them to be upset.
It was a pretty bad deal and I can't even begin to tell you how mad my salon manager was. I can truely say that at that moment she hated us. Us is the 5 girls that are leaving together. I have never seen that kind of hate on anyone's face before. It was terrifying. I have said I hated this or that and I have even said I have hated a person or two before. The truth is until that very moment I didn't know what hate was. I can tell you that I have NEVER hated anyone or anything ever. I may have been uncomfortable with a situation or not liked someone, but I have never had that searing type of hate that would make it shine through my eyes like that. I hope to never have anyone look at me that way again. I tried to handle the situation in a mature manner and with God's love. I could feel my friends and family lifting me up in prayer that day. I have been prayed for before, but this was different. I could FEEL them praying for me. I felt the strength that God gave me to say the words that where kind when I wanted to lash out and be mean. HE gave me the will and strength to stay for my whole shift till 9 at night when the other girls couldn't take it anymore and left forever. I had so many people ask me how I could take staying there after the things that where said to me and done to me. The only answer that I could give them was prayer. I told them that God gave me the strength and that I couldn't have done it with out him. Even though my boss said some pretty hateful and awful things to me I forgive her. I forgive her with all my heart. I realized how different I am than just a year ago because I think me a year ago woulnd't be ready so soon. I feel bad for her and I still want to extend the hand of friendship if she will ever have it again. I know it won't ever be like it was. I just don't want her to feel like I don't care about her. Sometimes people say things that they think they mean at the time. Later on down the line they regret what they said. I don't want her to live a life of regret. I already forgive her for it. If there was anyway I could have made this easier for her I would have. As it is we did it the hard way. If we would have waited until the day before the shop opened to insure we got to work this week she would have had to scramble to get the schedule taken care of. Actually there wouldn't have been any way. None of us wanted to leave her in a mess. It was going to be a mess for her no matter what, but we wanted to leave as little of a scar as possible on that wound.
I hugged my co-workers that worked with me that night and left that place for the last time. It was hard. Really hard. So much harder than I thought it would be. I was there almost 12 years of my life. I am 30. That is just shy of half my life. WOW. I know. (I say it louder, lol). I have so much ahead of me and it is hard to not look at what I am leaving behind. I am scared. So very scared. If I fale it doesn't just affect me. If I fale my whole family suffers. I have been told that I will never make it, I have to.
The new salon name is Dimensions. It is located in the old Zanders building on Hart street in Vincennes. The number for the shop is 895-0795. My new home away from home. Come by next week and see my new duds. It is going to blow your soxs off how cool it is. Andrea (the owner) has such neat taste in decor. I can't wait for you all to see it!
I have to send a special shout out to Carol who I know is one of my blog stalkers. She came into my little personal hell when I really needed a friend and helped me more than she will ever know. I needed a friendly face and I guess God knew that. She called for an appointment RIGHT after the girl that was there called to cancell. God is good all the time. Thank you Carol. Thank you to Becky too who I called when I got home and rehashed the whole awful day. She is so patient with me. I really don't think she got a word in the whole conversation. Thank you to everyone else who reads this that I know lifted me up in prayer that day. I felt your words and kindness.
I have to add that my boss called me early this morning to tell me she was sorry and that she does wish me the best and I got a chance to tell her that I forgive her. That was really nice to be able to tell her. It would have been enough for me to know that I do. It was a blessing to get to tell her. I hope she knows that I really meant my words and that I wish her well too. Please lift her up in your prayers too. She really will be going through a lot in the next few months. I also feel bad for those left behind at Penney's it is going to be bad for them too. Keep them in mind also.
I am so excited for my new life of wearing flip flops and jeans to work if I want, taking Grace to work with me if I need to, changing my day off if I want, and just having less stress in my life. Thank God for change. (never thought I would ever say that!)